Was it a break-up?
Yes, we exchanged sweet nothings through text. We were exchanging nice stuff.
He went out of his way to meet me up on a work-week-day. He would often make my day ok. He would make me smile.
I have my own quirks. All I know he would try to avoid conflict. He would often try to appease me - just so that we would end our day ok. This I don't want. Mainly because, I don't want him to skip or jeopardize his feelings just to please me. I am not the type of person who would want to be pleased all the time. I want that at a certain point we would agree with all our will.
Until weeks later, changes were happening. At first, I ignored it... until I could no longer contain my fear, and the day came when he finally drifted away from me.
He said, he dreaded saying goodbye. He said he does not like goodbyes. And he said he would only say goodbye when it is the end for him. He walked out of my life without telling me. I told him that I have to unlearn him, that I got so used to having him around, and it's not making me feel ok.
We never really got to talk after. Until he attended a workshop.
After the said workshop, we never had any reason to communicate. I never had a reason to reach out to him. We would generically greet online because of certain occasions.
After 3 months of being silent with him, I decided to finally get over the fact of avoiding him intentionally. I wanted to reach out to him to see if I am ok. If things for me are ok... and it opened up another phase of our friendship...
I even got a chance to work with him for three days. I thought all the while I was ok. We're ok. But we were never the same. I never got his friendship all this time. And the thought of him still hurts me.
I wanted to tell him how I feel. I wanted to ask help from him so I can move on.
All I really want is - to have him as my friend. And I am not sure if that is something mutual. :(
I still am hurting.
I want to erase the hurt.
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Some useful sites on helping you out getting over the heart break:
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