this is what i wrote to her... (sanitized version)

dear miss A,

hindi naman po sa mang-iiwan ako...
hayyyy hindi ko po alam why ako na-sa-sad lately... siguro nga unresolved pa rin ako sa different issues, kse madaming factors... pero siguro it's wrong to say na fixated pa rin ako dun sa sinabi ni MAD... i mean, u know, partly, parang i am ok with that (tanggap ko na)...
siguro nalulungkot lang ako dahil most of my friends are leaving AFI... ung bola 5... siguro may mga heartaches kme sa AFI... kung ano man un siguro po ang iba nasabi sa ko na sa inyo... ang iba secret pa rin... or maybe u have deduced some of them already...

last saturday, ung abot-kamay texted me... and explained to me things... ang ganda po ng offer... sobrang gusto ko siyang i-grab agad... parang i have one big reason why i should leave AFI... sobrang dilemma siya sa akin... feeling ko, there's just a thin line holding me sa AFI sa SWM...

i know, lately u have seen my mood swings ... hindi ko alam... even during ED06
preparations parang u know i have been kinda off... i have been contemplating on things since saturday... well, wala pa naman po akong napipirmahang kontrata with them ... my aunt told me to think things over... i texted u nga po last saturday... siyempre part ng thinking over is ur reply to my text po...

miss A, i wanted to bring back the kind enthusiasm i had back when i first stepped foot in AFI... siguro nga i have this na-uumay syndrome... i feel like i am deteriorating with the quality of work i am producing ...

i know i have my contract and i now i am realizing that i want to finish my stay in AFI with me being convinced that I did my best like not so pabaya and forgetful...I mean, i want to do some quality work...

and i would like to grab the offset-opportunities para lumayo-layo sa AFI ng matagal-tagal ... para pagbalik ko i am refreshed and GO-GO with everything... esp. alam ko May will be quite busy with PAYT and june with DENR/SWARM/ etc...

gusto kong lumayo-layo sa AFI kse parangggggg la alng nakakapagod ang silent battle (kung whatever man un....nakakapagod pa rin siya)...



un lang po ang gusto kong sabhn ...




kakay